Society's habit of constantly projecting their problems

Something that I feel society needs to be educated more on is projection.

Society has become very sick. With social media and the ability to say things anonymously, people no longer know healthy methods of coping with their self esteem. If people feel inferior, they can just go onto the internet and project that upon someone. You can go correct people to feel smart, you can shame someone to feel like a good person with superior morals, and you can straight up just be brutally mean to someone to feel better about yourself. This behaviour very quickly flooded into in-person behaviour.

It's not just something teachers tell you, that people bully to feel better about themselves. It's basic psychology. People don't feel so low when they can look down on someone else. People do not know how to survive emotionally without looking down on someone else anymore.

They pick the most vulnerable people. They pick on people that struggle with addiction, people of certain races or that are LGBTQ2+, people who are over or underweight, and people who are disabled. Bigotry is projection. The hate comes from a place of being insecure. People pick these groups of people because they pick people who they think they can justify bullying because they can blame these people for their problems. They will never listen to any information, any proof, or any expert on the facts regarding certain groups of people because then they could not justify bullying these people so they can bully these people guilt free. They will never listen that addiction is a disease, not a choice; that addiction comes from trauma. They will never listen that roughly half of people who are obese have AT LEAST ONE underlying condition that prevents them from losing weight the typical way. They will fight and fight that fact no matter what proof they are given from experts that it's "extremely rare" for people to have conditions that prevent them from losing weight by simple diet and exercise. 

There are many signs that you are projecting. People need to learn to recognize it so they can work on themselves and evolve. Everyone does it. I am not trying to say I am morally superior because I do not project. It happens, but the important thing is at the end of the day I think to myself "Why did I react that way?" and get to the root of my emotions that caused me to act negatively towards someone and I work on that root problem in my life. 

1. If you find yourself looking down on anyone for ANY reason, you are projecting. We need to learn compassion because only hurt people hurt people. Nobody who is 100% mentally healthy does ill things towards others. People are often born with mental illness or they develop it from trauma. 

2. If you beat a dead horse. If you cannot convince someone of what you believe to be a fact but you just keep arguing and arguing instead of just agreeing to disagree and walking away, you are projecting.

3. If you act negatively towards someone who wasn't doing anything wrong. Like making a rude comment as you pass by.

4. If you compare yourself to others in any way in which makes you feel superior somehow. Even if it's just feeling morally superior.

5. If you find yourself spewing things you believe to be facts but are unfounded because you never actually researched the topic from reputable resources before correcting people.

6. If you believe something is fact despite contradictions from officially declared scientific facts based on groups of elite experts and statistics. 

7. If you think people should have to follow your opinions. If people should have to look a certain way or have certain interests because it's what YOU prefer and you feel that people who are different are in the wrong because most of society shares your opinion on personal appearance, interests, hobbies, etc.

People need to stop focusing on everyone else's problems to avoid acknowledging their own problems.

"Be nice to people because you never know what struggles they are going through"

An example of why to be nice to people because you never know what they're dealing with.

Society is really mean to me. It doesn't help that I live in a city that absolutely loves to stare at and judge everyone and they don't feel embarrassed or rude to be caught staring. They WANT you to feel judged. They feel certain people deserve it. I'm one of those people. I'm society's scapegoat. Heaven forbid in this society that you are a WOMAN that is overweight. Society is 1000x harsher towards women who are overweight than men. On top of that, this backwards society wants me to feel shamed because I choose to dye my hair unnatural colours, I choose to have piercings and tattoos, and I choose to dress like a typical metal head or punk.

What people don't realize when they decide to stare, give me a judgmental look, or talk negatively about me right in front of me, is that they're not the only ones. Not to mention the fact that you CANNOT talk about someone within their view without them knowing. It is impossible. Your body language just screams it out, even if that person cannot hear what you are saying or do not understand the language you are speaking. Society is so non-confrontational and so spineless that people don't know how obvious it is because they never get called out on it. People are so afraid of being gaslit for calling people out on that, they don't do it, so these people that talk about people in front of them think people can't tell. There's also the fact that people somehow justify their bullying in their head. They think that you deserve it to force you to change as if they're somehow helping you. They don't realize that no one is here for THEM and they have no right to try to bully someone into changing their appearance to suit their tastes. What they also don't realize is how frequent it is aside from them doing it. When buddy has to give me a rude judgmental look, he doesn't realize that I already had many others do it to me.

If that type of bullying worked, I would not be fat and I would dress "normal" because it happens that often. I go to a store 4 blocks from my house and 6 different people will make me feel judged on the way there. If people understood how frequent people like me have to deal with blatant judging, then they'd realize doing it doesn't achieve anything for them.

Aside from that, I have my own struggles aside from everyone else giving me a hard time. Being this size is hard enough just to exist without the bullying. You can't fit in bus seats, you can't fit in restaurant seats if the chairs have arm rests. You can't fit in booths at restaurants either unless the table is not fixed and can be moved. You cannot sit anywhere where you cannot adjust the distance of the seat from the table. Bending is a struggle. Exercising is a struggle. Climbing stairs is a huge struggle. It's hard to find clothes that fit that aren't something your middle aged mom would wear. Plus size women's clothing is ridiculously expensive. I spend as much on a pair of jeans as one would spend on a pair of DESIGNER jeans and on top of that the companies know we are prone to wear out pants in the inner thigh so they make all the materials thinner so they can force us to buy more. The plus size clothing industry is a huge scam. I feel embarrassed in public or in front of friends because of my symptoms of my EDS that everyone will want to blame on my weight. I have hyperhydrosis. If I sweat too much, limp, walk too slow, wear a knee or wrist brace, everyone blames my weight. It is hard to sit comfortably because my weight exacerbates my back problems and there's a limited number of positions I can actually sit in. If all of those struggles don't make my life miserable enough to "just" lose the weight, then people treating me like garbage in public, or people I meet through the grapevine hating my guts upon first sight, isn't gonna solve my weight issue either.

The weight is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my personal struggles. I have a coordination problem. So often times when I have to run errands, I run out of spoons before I even get out of the door. I have to wrestle to get my clothes on. I drop things frequently. I fumble frequently. If I had a dollar for every time that I ran out of patience before I left the house, and then had to deal with how everyone treats me in public after that. When I have no patience left for that, I end up scolding people or even yelling at them and making myself look unstable and crazy. This just adds to the embarrassment I have from being in public and being the size I am and struggling with my connective tissue disorder that causes all these visible symptoms that I know people have a habit of stereotyping as  fat person things. 

I also have sensory processing disorder. My brain does not filter out background information as well as others. Normal people's brains will filter out useless consistent information. You never notice that you can always see your nose or your breathing until you pay attention, because your brain filters it out as useless information. You don't hear what others are saying in a crowd unless you listen. My brain does not filter out this information. I do not need to eavesdrop, I just hear everything. My brain doesn't filter out background noise or my peripheral vision. I notice when everyone is looking at me weird or talking about me, even if it's a situation where if it wasn't me the person wouldn't notice. So I notice it all. I cannot filter it out. I cannot ignore it. Even a typical brain could not ignore people being so rude when it's so frequent.

We need to stop gaslighting people. We need to stop telling people to ignore things and start telling people to stop being mean and rude to each other. We need to stand up for ourselves more. Society is only so harsh and rude because people believe too much in turning the other cheek and we don't have enough social consequences for people who are rude. We need to stand up for our friends and stand up for strangers when we see people being bullied. We need to stop telling everyone on social media to ignore things and start telling people to stop treating people badly. Stop victim blaming and gaslighting. Think about the fact that people have their own struggles before you make a rude comment or gesture. 

Struggles with nerve and muscle control

95% of my stress is because every task I have to do, 90% or more of that involves doing unnecessary things that are not involved in getting the task done. If I want to use this item, it'll be stuck on this, that, and another thing. When I get those things off of it another thing gets stuck on it. Then this thing and that thing and another thing falls or gets pushed/pulled and needs to be put back. If I need to move something here, something will always be in the way that didn't seem to be an issue on first glance or what I'm moving will not stay where I placed it. If I move something out of the way, I have to move it multiple times before it's ACTUALLY all the way out of the way. Then my foot will get caught on this or stuck on that.

90% of EVERYTHING I do turns into a big fiasco where I have to stop what I'm doing to mess around with the thing I'm doing or something else that interrupted me being able to get the task done. 90% of my actions during a task is spent trying to deal with all the unnecessary mishaps that happens like things being stuck on what I'm using or moving or being knocked over by it. Anything that can happen to make each task take more effort and take longer, will happen, especially if I'm already stressed about it. 90% of the things I do take at least 10 times more effort and at least 10 times longer. I end up late for the bus because I'll have to wrestle and struggle to get my clothes on because I know I'm running late, to put my wallet, phone and keys into my pocket, to get my shoes on, so it takes longer than usually. I'll drop things a few times too. I'll drop the same thing more than once in a row. 

Having a disorder that affects your coordination is extremely exhausting. I'm permanently exhausted because of all the stress from it and all the extra energy I have to spend to do everything right. 95% of my stress is from that, despite struggling with autism, GAD and panic disorder, tourettes, OCD, PDA, ADHD, and all the health complications I face from the same disorder (EDS) that causes my coordination issues. I'm even struggling to type messages correctly. I had to fix enough words in this post, that the wrong word was typed or it had a typo, for me to have anxiety and stress about typing this post.

On top of the stress, I'm injury prone. I constantly have bruises, scrapes, scratches, or injuries from bumping into things, tripping over things, knocking things over that fall onto me, tripping or losing my balance and falling. EDS causes me to struggle with chronic muscle and joint fatigue and pain. Having to pick up fallen things or wrestle with things to get tasks done just adds to my chronic pain and physical strain. I've had concussions from hitting my head on things or dropping things on my head. I've had torn ligaments from getting tangled in things or tripping. I can randomly lose my balance and almost fall or actually fall just from turning while walking or even while walking a straight line. I've almost fallen into traffic because I randomly lost my balance walking down the sidewalk. Once I would've been hit by a car if it wasn't for my mom's reflexes and knowing that this happens to me grabbing my shirt by the sleeve to yank me from falling onto the street in front of a car. 

This isn't about me. I'm not whining for sympathy. I want to give you all a better view into my life to make you all more aware of people who struggle with disorders that affect their nerves and muscles.

This is for all the people that have Cerebral Palsy, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's, Huntington's, Alzheimer's and Dementia, and other degenerative nerve disorders; 

Epilepsy, tourettes, fibromyalgia, and other nerve and brain signal disorders. This is for all the people with muscle or nerve damage or other injuries. This is for everyone with genetic nerve or muscle disorders. This is for everyone that lacks control over their body movements at any extent and for any reason and there is no cure, solution, or relief from their extremely frustrating struggles. Especially since stress and anxiety makes your coordination worse. I see you. I hear your non-verbal cries of emotional agony and even physical strain. I want you to read this and feel a sense of your struggles being understood. 

For everyone else, this is for you to reflect. This is for you to see other's perspective so you can have empathy. Even just reading this and thinking of this and feeling empathy inside is enough to be helpful to our struggles. This is for you to not take your uncompromised control over your body for granted. This is so you can understand that all we need from anyone is some patience with us because ours is often running very thin. So you can understand why we get emotional. Why we get angry or break down crying over seemingly small things. 

It's because all day every day we have to FIGHT tooth and nail to get things done. Some days can feel like a nightmare. Often times we can feel cursed like maybe god or some higher power or supernatural entity (like maybe a poltergeist) just wants to torment or punish us by making every task a struggle. Some days I flip out on people for looking at me wrong or not being conscious and considerate in public. It's because I often have no patience left to deal with people in public after fighting to get every task and chore done and even walk from one room to another without bumping into things or tripping or knocking something over. Some days I lose all of my patience in the first 15 minutes of my day and then I still have to force myself to run at least one errand when all my spoons are already gone. This is because my sleep and hormones can also affect my control and coordination. I can fumble and struggle when I'm not even stressed or anxious but I'm going through my feminine cycle. Or I can wake up feeling still emotionally exhausted from the day before and/or still be in physical pain.