Struggles with nerve and muscle control

95% of my stress is because every task I have to do, 90% or more of that involves doing unnecessary things that are not involved in getting the task done. If I want to use this item, it'll be stuck on this, that, and another thing. When I get those things off of it another thing gets stuck on it. Then this thing and that thing and another thing falls or gets pushed/pulled and needs to be put back. If I need to move something here, something will always be in the way that didn't seem to be an issue on first glance or what I'm moving will not stay where I placed it. If I move something out of the way, I have to move it multiple times before it's ACTUALLY all the way out of the way. Then my foot will get caught on this or stuck on that.

90% of EVERYTHING I do turns into a big fiasco where I have to stop what I'm doing to mess around with the thing I'm doing or something else that interrupted me being able to get the task done. 90% of my actions during a task is spent trying to deal with all the unnecessary mishaps that happens like things being stuck on what I'm using or moving or being knocked over by it. Anything that can happen to make each task take more effort and take longer, will happen, especially if I'm already stressed about it. 90% of the things I do take at least 10 times more effort and at least 10 times longer. I end up late for the bus because I'll have to wrestle and struggle to get my clothes on because I know I'm running late, to put my wallet, phone and keys into my pocket, to get my shoes on, so it takes longer than usually. I'll drop things a few times too. I'll drop the same thing more than once in a row. 

Having a disorder that affects your coordination is extremely exhausting. I'm permanently exhausted because of all the stress from it and all the extra energy I have to spend to do everything right. 95% of my stress is from that, despite struggling with autism, GAD and panic disorder, tourettes, OCD, PDA, ADHD, and all the health complications I face from the same disorder (EDS) that causes my coordination issues. I'm even struggling to type messages correctly. I had to fix enough words in this post, that the wrong word was typed or it had a typo, for me to have anxiety and stress about typing this post.

On top of the stress, I'm injury prone. I constantly have bruises, scrapes, scratches, or injuries from bumping into things, tripping over things, knocking things over that fall onto me, tripping or losing my balance and falling. EDS causes me to struggle with chronic muscle and joint fatigue and pain. Having to pick up fallen things or wrestle with things to get tasks done just adds to my chronic pain and physical strain. I've had concussions from hitting my head on things or dropping things on my head. I've had torn ligaments from getting tangled in things or tripping. I can randomly lose my balance and almost fall or actually fall just from turning while walking or even while walking a straight line. I've almost fallen into traffic because I randomly lost my balance walking down the sidewalk. Once I would've been hit by a car if it wasn't for my mom's reflexes and knowing that this happens to me grabbing my shirt by the sleeve to yank me from falling onto the street in front of a car. 

This isn't about me. I'm not whining for sympathy. I want to give you all a better view into my life to make you all more aware of people who struggle with disorders that affect their nerves and muscles.

This is for all the people that have Cerebral Palsy, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's, Huntington's, Alzheimer's and Dementia, and other degenerative nerve disorders; 

Epilepsy, tourettes, fibromyalgia, and other nerve and brain signal disorders. This is for all the people with muscle or nerve damage or other injuries. This is for everyone with genetic nerve or muscle disorders. This is for everyone that lacks control over their body movements at any extent and for any reason and there is no cure, solution, or relief from their extremely frustrating struggles. Especially since stress and anxiety makes your coordination worse. I see you. I hear your non-verbal cries of emotional agony and even physical strain. I want you to read this and feel a sense of your struggles being understood. 

For everyone else, this is for you to reflect. This is for you to see other's perspective so you can have empathy. Even just reading this and thinking of this and feeling empathy inside is enough to be helpful to our struggles. This is for you to not take your uncompromised control over your body for granted. This is so you can understand that all we need from anyone is some patience with us because ours is often running very thin. So you can understand why we get emotional. Why we get angry or break down crying over seemingly small things. 

It's because all day every day we have to FIGHT tooth and nail to get things done. Some days can feel like a nightmare. Often times we can feel cursed like maybe god or some higher power or supernatural entity (like maybe a poltergeist) just wants to torment or punish us by making every task a struggle. Some days I flip out on people for looking at me wrong or not being conscious and considerate in public. It's because I often have no patience left to deal with people in public after fighting to get every task and chore done and even walk from one room to another without bumping into things or tripping or knocking something over. Some days I lose all of my patience in the first 15 minutes of my day and then I still have to force myself to run at least one errand when all my spoons are already gone. This is because my sleep and hormones can also affect my control and coordination. I can fumble and struggle when I'm not even stressed or anxious but I'm going through my feminine cycle. Or I can wake up feeling still emotionally exhausted from the day before and/or still be in physical pain.